This was to be an “up” post. It was going to be light and breezy! I have been thinking about it the entire week… I felt so good on Monday! We had a good walk, Tuesday gym and Wednesday, I thought was a bit of a break through. Gym on Thursday and then today was to be a repeat of Wednesday! That was the idea it was planned! And I was going to write about onwards and up wards and one step at a time and each step is closer to that elusive finish line! Pffft…
Just in case you didn’t know : I do moaning well… it’s a gift (you know, they say everyone has a gift, mine has to be moaning) and I honestly thought that this was not going to be a moaning post!
Well it is!
Or perhaps if I am honest it’s more about self doubt, lack of confidence and if I dig really deep, which I hate to do too often, perhaps this is more about the fact that I am terrified to fail so I am setting myself up for just that… WTF!!!!!
MOVE OVER OPRAH!
Monday : Since we ran on Sunday I decided that I would walk… we did a good walk and all was well.
Tuesday : Was a 38 minute sweat session at gym, love the elliptical, still all good.
Wednesday : Hot morning, but we hit the road with a spring in our step! Ran a 7,6km route, it was a slow running pace (which I am more than happy with, because this body of mine is never going to be quick! Fact!!! ) We threw in some walking for good measure! I am battling with “the burn” so when I cannot handle it anymore, I sneak in a quick walk. It definitely seemed to work.
Thursday : Another gym session with a cycle and then a 20min on elliptical.
Friday : Today was supposed to be a repeat of Wednesday! Ran about 4.5km and just could not anymore…. I felt so sluggish, it was too hot, my water was too warm… but we didn’t just go home, we walked the rest of the route!
I feel like a miserable failure… I quit too easily. Sharon and Mel looked just as pooped but I have to wonder if I have this in me! I am so *#@%ing full of excuses! And as a runner, you have to take what ever weather you are given and deal with it! FFS!!!! The pity party is all too real at the moment!
And if that isn’t enough – because I have been feeling so “meh” about myself, I have been obsessively weighing myself every *#@%ing day!!! EVER DAY (she screams, throwing her arms in the air) and I am still hanging around the same stupid *#@%ing digits… and then this morning BOOM! 3KGS DOWN! And I was in disbelief… so I weighed myself another 3 times… and it was the same awesome result! I am such a cynical cow… so, I went back one more time… and there it was… back to the normal figure… no 3kg loss after all… the scale is the bitch I hate! Enough said about that!
But we not done yet! I get into shower to wash off all the sweat and disappointment only to be repaid with an acid like sting on my back and under my breasts! The beast of a sports bra I have is now finally decided to rub me raw!
Pass me a piece of cake
Pour me a gin!
(Somewhat melodramatic and slightly hysterical)